Wonder like a mad person

I always wonder if there are people out there that really love me for who I am exclude my family. 

I always wonder why do I have to cry alone while other people always has someone that they can lean on. 

I always wonder why am I so weak . 

I always wonder why am I so sensitive. 

I always wonder why do I have to cry when things aren't gong the way I want it to be. 

I always wonder am I really alone?

I always wonder am I that bad since there's no one that would like to hear my stories, to wipe my tears, to lend their shoulders, to support me. 

I always wonder am I that annoying, am I that noisy. 

I always wonder do I really have to face this alone forever? 

I always wonder how much longer can I handle this? 

I always wonder why everyone else didn't have to face what I faced. 

I always wonder till when I have to wonder about all this? 

I always wonder when can I get the answers of all my wonders? 

You may look at me like I'm a strong girl who always laugh, making jokes, being funny, being crazy but inside me, there are a lot of things that you haven't recover. 

So, can someone please be that someone that will not make me wonder anymore. 

Because you will never know the pain of crying alone. 

NP : Beast - On Rainy Days

My eyes are 'raining' now. Thank you for your never-concern :')